The other night I was laying in bed with my fiancee, and I simply asked him, "I know we have not really discussed this, but what would be the ultimate no-no that would lead you to divorce me?" His answer was very predictable, and what I thought he would say, "Cheating!" It was not a shock that he said this because I feel like cheating is a deal breaker for many people. Of course he threw the question right back at me, and after a few moments of deep thought, I answered "If you ever raised your hand to me." As any good man would, he assured me that he would never think about hitting me. But then in a very low-pitched shocked tone he said, "You wouldn't leave me if I cheated on you?"
I said, "No......"
I know some of you are thinking "Oh hell no!" but like I said earlier each individual has that little thing that will push them over the edge, and a man cheating is not one of those things for me...Let me explain why, and when I explain also understand that this is my point of view as a woman entering a vow of marriage. As a single woman I may have had a very different opinion!
First, I truly believe that men have very animalistic instincts! They are hunters, providers, and most importantly they were put on Earth to pro-create. It's in their nature! With that being said, they are still human, and should have the human brain capacity to fight the temptation of infidelity. While I truly believe most men are faithful to their wives and girlfriends, some of them just have weak animalistic moments. Now let me break down what I mean by an "animalistic moment," I' am not talking about your dude exchanging numbers with a woman, texting her on the regular, and sneaking behind your back to be with this women physically and/or emotionally. I am talking animalistic.....Hypothetically they work in the same office, both are attracted to one another, one day she drops the files on the ground, next thing he knew, he F'd up! Set the scene up anyway you may need to, but I'm talking about a situation where the act of cheating was never pre-meditated!
Without actually having this happen to me, I'm not sure what exact questions I would want answered, but off the top of my head, I guess I would want to know "Was this a one time thing?" "Are you not satisfied sexually?" "What was it about her that made you slip up" "Did you kiss that hoe on the lips?" "You better had used a condom" As I write, actually the questions are flowing like crazy in my brain!!! I think I just even side-eyed my man on the couch for no reason!
But on a serious note, everyone has their breaking point when it comes to breaking up with a significant other. For some reason I would tolerate cheating, yet abuse would be my breaking point. I think sometimes before we lash out and over-react when our spouse messes up, take a moment and think about does this change my love for this person? Most importantly, before you get your boxes ready and call the moving company, can our love for one another get us through this situation?
Now some of you have completely read waaayyy too much into all this! Your rolling your eyes right now assuring yourself that your going to end up with "Mr. Right," a "God Fearing Man" that doesn't cheat, steal, lie, eat pork, gamble, curse, disrespects his mama, have kids, etc...etc.....And more power to you if you indeed find this wonderful man! But when ish hits the fan, as it will, take a moment and ask yourself....can our love for one another get us through this situation?
"Love is patient and kind, Love is not jealous, conceited, proud or boastful, it is not arrogant, selfish, irritable or rude. Love does not keep a record of wrongs. Love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth, Love never gives up, and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Love is eternal."
- 1-corinthians 13 4
- 1-corinthians 13 4
I'm not rolling my eyes, I understand where your coming from from beginning to end. the part about the animalistic, I call it animal attraction, and nothing can stop it, I think. I understand this with men, but what i can't deal with is him not being a man, keep a job, take care of me to back up your shit. I have talked to so many women who were about to leave their husbands because he was involved with another woman, I simply say why leave your home and everything that he has built for you and your family to all go to the other woman. as long as he's not putting his hands on you, and constantly talking down to you, never give it up for that other woman to be able to have what you were getting, F&*$ half, you keep all let him do his thing then he'll be back. get the girls go on a vacation honey and take a deep breath. if his infidelity becomes unbearable you'll know what to do. In this day in age it's so hard to find the right one, so if you have something hold onto it. why keep starting over trying to find the right on stay with the shit you already have!
ReplyDeleteThis was awesome!!! Felicia
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